Dial Books | 978-0735230378
Seeing with kindness.
Listening with kindness.
Suppressing the impulse to jump to judgement.
These are the things that came to mind as I scrolled through social media today and ran across a conversation that stopped me in my tracks. Someone I knew had expressed some opinions I disagreed with. They were disturbing, not because I was unaware of our differences – there have been many areas in which we haven’t seen eye to eye over the years. More – I was surprised by how quickly the conversation had turned ugly, as the person I knew and the other I didn’t attacked one another online.
It made me think about opinions in general. Mine. And those of others. Sometimes we’re right. Often, we’re wrong. And that made me think about empathy and the power of books. And in particular, the picture book ADRIAN SIMCOX DOES NOT HAVE A HORSE., written by Marcy Campbell, illustrated by Corinna Luyken.
This is a picture book about a boy, Adrian Simcox, who sits by himself, gets the free lunch at school, has a messy desk, and holes in his shoes. “And Adrian tells anyone who will listen that he has a horse.” Chloe doesn’t believe him, and is angry about his lies. The teacher says, “We must try to be understanding. We have to be patient.”
One day when Adrian continues to spin tales of his “beautiful horse with its white coat and golden mane” and the “biggest, brownest eyes of any horse, anywhere,” Chloe gets fed up. Tired of being patient and understanding, she yells from the middle of the playground,”He’s lying! Adrian Simcox does NOT have a horse!”
As soon as the words leave her mouth, Chloe realizes the harm she’s caused. She sees the sad look on Adrian’s face and knows she has spoken too soon.
How Chloe learns to deal with the conflicting feelings she has about Adrian is heartening. As it says on the flap copy: “Sometimes we have to learn to see with kindness.” And while that may not be the answer in all times and all places, we can all learn a thing or two about stopping to see a person as more than the sum total of the words they say in a moment of conflict.
As President-elect Joe Biden said in his acceptance speech, “it’s time… to see each other again. To listen to each other again.” We all know this is not an easy thing to do. But, I’d like to think we can try.
Pair this book with THE DAY YOU BEGIN by Jacqueline Woodson, illustrated by Rafael López, or BE KIND by Pat Zietlow Miller, illustrated by Jen Hill.
